Goodbye
by I.Am.Cannibal
Summary: Alec and Magnus break up and Alec goes into a huge state of depression. He tries to kill himself... Can Magnus save him? Or will he leave Alec to die? Rated T for attempted suicide... Yaoi Malec, kinda dark, may be a One-shot, not sure.


**Goodbye**

This is not a song-fic, but the idea is based behind multiple Ke$ha songs, such as "Goodbye", "The Harold Song", And "This Love".

Shipping: Malec

Set after COLS… How did Alec cope after Magnus left him because of his deception?

_"Aku cinta kamu. It means I love you. Not that that changes anything."_

That was one of the last things Magnus Bane ever said to me… It's also one of the last things that I have heard since. The same phrase… I've never felt something like this before, not even from Jace. There… The final playlist of my life, Magnus would be so proud of my dramatics. Everything was perfectly laid out and beautiful. I made my bed with the finest silk, a birthday present from Magnus, saying something about how rare luxuries should be with each other. I laid out three notes for the people I loved to find.

The first one, addressed to Clary, Simon, Jace, Isabelle, and everyone else that had enriched my life:

'To my loved ones, please forgive me, I haven't really died today, I've been dead for months, people simply cannot live without their soul intact, there is nothing more to do than apologize for this inconvenience. Clary and Jace, please take care of each other, and never hide anything from each other, be 100% all of the time, I love you guys so much. Izzy and Simon, don't deny what you feel for each other, and never take each other for granted… And Simon, never ever make my sister cry, please.'

-Alec Lightwood

The second one, addressed to my parents:

'Mom and Dad, I am so sorry, but I am nothing like you. I cant go through my life pretending that my heart isn't shattered. I couldn't hold up a façade that I was happy for years, while my spirit continuously decayed. I wish I had the strength to pretend that I am fine, but I never learned that in Shadowhunter training… I love you and would do anything to make you proud, but I have become nothing more than a shell of myself… I cant… I just cant.'

-Alec Lightwood

The last one, the hardest letter I have ever had to write in my life… To Magnus, the love of my life:

'Magnus, since the first day I met you, I have been entranced and dumbstruck by you, from that first, "Call Me" you gave, and all the way to the Hall of Accords and beyond that. I remember you holding my hand throughout the streets of Paris at 3 A.M. when I couldn't sleep. I remember you making me feel so comfortable when you and I went to the equal rights Council meeting. I especially remember the night after Max died, our first night together. You stayed the whole night while I just cried into your chest. No judgment, just affection and comfort. None of those times will begin to make up for what I had thought about doing to you, in my selfish delusion that I would be just a plaything for a few years. I want you to know that my heart has always belonged to you and will always belong to you, you guided me through the darkness when I was scared of everything, you made me the person I am today, but I don't think that I can take what you taught me with me where I am going… Always, I love you, "Sweet Pea"'

-Alexander Lightwood

The Alexander was so hard to write, simply because of the familiarity, the affection, the well-meaned scoldings, the whispers of marriage vows.

I left the notes perfectly folded on my bed and made my way to my drawer. I placed all of my steles and other hunter weapons on the bed as well, all except one. A pretty silver dagger that I had bought just for this occasion.

I made my way to my bathroom, filled with vanilla and rose-bud candles, in an attempt to mimic the scent of Magnus' apartment. I took off my tuxedo piece by piece and hung them up neatly, all the while listening to my CD play. I absent-mindedly began to sing along as I got into the tub " Do I ever cross your mind? Cuz you're on mine all the time…"

I relaxed for a couple of minutes and then began my artwork. This was way different than using a stele. Where a stele was warm to the touch, and cooled me throughout my body, an actual knife was the adverse… the blade itself was cold and seemed to burn inside of my bloodstream. It felt, real.

The pictures I was making were beautiful, more than just runes. There were stories, stories of us kissing under the stars, growing old together, adopting a child and caring dearly for them. But they weren't pictures exactly, they were only pictures to me. Maybe Clary wasn't the only one with the power to invent power in her weapons…

I slowly began to fade in and out of consciousness. The last thing I heard was my CD, "They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me," The most truthful thing I had heard in months. And with that I was drifting.

**No POV**

Alec's plan wouldn't work out to the degree that he wanted, because just ten minutes after he faded out of conciseness, Isabelle walked into his room. "Alec! Are you up here? We are all going to Taki's and think you should come too! Alec!" His little sister yelled into the bathroom. She took a quick survey of the room, and went immediately to his letters. After a thorough read, Isabelle jumped to her feet and drop kicked his bathroom door, only to find her slender older brother lying in the red-stained bath-tub, unconscious.

"OH MY GOD! HELP! SOMEBODY FOR THE FUCKING ANGEL'S SAKE HELP!"

A half an hour and dozens of Iratze (sp?) runes later lead the teen Shadowhunters to the belief that their beloved Alec would die very soon.

Jace stood back dumbfounded, scared out of his mind one of the few people in the world he loved was leaving him. But just as those thoughts of fear entered, the new thoughts came in, and his cell phone was working at the speed of sound. "Magnus, I know that you deleted our numbers, but please hear me out, Izzy found Alec in the bathroom with cuts all over himself, and I'm really fucking scared! I think we might lose him. If you love him so much, come over and please help!"

Without two thoughts, Magnus was outside of the Institute and marching up to the gate. It is said that in times of dire need that a warlock can teleport themselves without a Portal, and occasionally break down Shadowhunter barrier. Magnus Bane did both of those in one day. The magical energy flowing through him directly came from his incomprehensible love for his young Alec Lightwood.

"Where the fuck is he!" was all that he could say.

Isabelle, mentally questioning how Magnus got here so fast and got into the Institute lead him to the kitchen island where he was lying. The love of his life was just lying there, lifeless. After a couple of minutes of examinations, Magnus could find no other answers, "There is no way to heal him at this level of injury, he will likely die of blood loss in the next two minutes."

Jace's face was filled with nothing but pure fury, "There is nothing you can fucking do?"

Magnus looked up, producing a large tan tome, "There is only one thing to do, and I intend to do it." And with that, Magnus Bane began to use every bit of energy he had in this spell. A spell of this degree would need to be performed by a band of wizards, but the warlock was imbued with an abundance of magic from his anger and fear for his loved one, that he could match an entire academy of sorcerers. Sure, he would lose his powers for the better part of a year, but he was not losing the most important thing in the world to him.

As he completed the incantation, Magnus Bane fainted on the kitchen floor… his last thought before blackness was, 'It worked, The spell of immortality worked…'


End file.
